Author: coreykupfer

Categories
Authentic Business Relationships Authentic Conversations About Difference Authentic Leadership

Mentorship: Exploring the Reverse Mentor Concept

During-Brainstorming-18
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

What we can learn from changing the status quo

I’ve really enjoyed this series on mentorship. You might have noticed that in general, I prefer serial writing. It’s because while I love sharing my thoughts and insights, the exercise also gives me some clarity and room to deepen the discussion. One thing that’s become clear to me in the ongoing discussion about mentorship is that regardless of which role you assume, it’s fundamentally about learning. Mentors learn more about their past experiences when they impart the wisdom they’ve gathered over the years. Mentees learn how they can grow and improve in the most well-directed ways.

It led me to the question: When do we stop trying to grow and improve like a mentee? Your answer should be “never.” Yet, when we think about mentorship, it feels natural that we age out of the mentee mindset, that after an arbitrary level of experience, or an even more arbitrarily decided age, we transition from mentee to mentor full time.

While I fully support anyone assuming the role of mentor, we shouldn’t let inauthentic qualifiers like age or experience exclude us from learning and growing like a mentee. I was reading a piece by Marcel Schwantes about 6 Traits Smart People Have in Common when his advice on reverse mentors crystallized this notion for me.

The reality is, the world is changing faster now than ever before. Trends change weekly, the conversations we’re having change daily, and the skills and expertise we need to succeed are constantly evolving with the pace of technology and innovation. Fooling yourself into thinking that you can keep up with all of this on your own is a mark of ego.

Yet, there’s a generation who have grown up with this pace of change, who can transition their skills seamlessly with technology, and who speak the language of change better than more experienced generations can. It’s here that embracing a reverse mentor can make a big difference for you.

Navigating the unfamiliar dynamics of the reverse mentor relationship is certainly a challenge, but learning from a “Millennial” is in your best interest. Let’s talk about what the best reverse mentor relationships have in common.

In this context, you’re peers. The expectation of mutual respect should sustain no matter what, but approaching reverse mentorship wearing your “boss” hat is a mistake. Be humble and approach the relationship as a peer. You shouldn’t fear that it will detract from your role as a leader. Rather, seeking a reverse mentor will signal to your team how much you value learning and will set a great example. Additionally, if you do some pre-planning, you can confirm with your reverse mentor the exact dynamics of the relationship and keep your leadership intact while creating a healthy space for learning.

Accept that you don’t know what you don’t know. We stay as updated as we can, but if we think we know everything, what’s the point? It’s very likely that there are developments and technologies that we don’t even know we need to be aware of. A major part of what we can learn from a reverse mentor is emerging trends and how to track them. It’s critical that as leaders we remain aware, relevant and in tune to trends as they are emerging. A reverse mentor can position you for accelerated success when it comes to leveraging new technology, important demographic and market shifts and generational differences.

Understand it’s more than mechanical. Sure, there’s a lot to be gained from becoming more technologically savvy, but as millennials gain buying power and influence in the market, plugging into a more youthful perspective is important. Your worldview is likely very different than a Millennial’s, and appealing only to those people with a similar mindset to yours is a losing proposition. Gleaning a youthful perspective and opening yourself up to a dramatically different worldview will help you think about problems more effectively and devise more pointed solutions.

Mentorship has resulted in some of the most meaningful and impactful relationships in my life. I speak from experience when I say it’s a truly rewarding endeavor, but only with the right approach. I hope this discussion of reverse mentorship helps you abandon your misconceptions of what mentorship can be and how it has to look. We should always work to avoid limiting our learning opportunities. On that note, if you haven’t already, check out some of the mentors who shaped my life and career: https://www.coreykupfer.com/resources/

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Categories
Authentic Business Relationships Authentic Conversations About Difference Authentic Leadership

Mentorship: How to be the Best Mentee

During-Brainstorming-19
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

You get out what you put in

As discussed last week, a mentor with the right approach is necessary for constructive and productive mentorship. Yet, even more responsibility falls on the mentee. The fact is, many mentees approach mentorship for the wrong reasons. Their motivations are often selfish and inauthentic. To many mentees, mentorship is just about playing the game and climbing the ladder.

I will tell you right now, anyone who approaches the relationship with that motivation and that inauthentic attitude won’t just fail at being a mentee but will struggle to truly succeed in their life. The goal should always be personal improvement, learning, and a genuine desire to become the best worker and person possible. That’s a context which can make mentorship a transformative exercise and lead to true success.

Aside from entering the relationship with the right context, what else can mentees do to get the most of their time with a mentor?

Fully commit to the relationship. Even with the best intentions, if you’re not all-in as a mentee, you’re not going to get out of the relationship everything you might expect. It can’t be a matter of convenience for you. If your mentor gives you an assignment or challenge, don’t put it on your backburner. Make it a priority. There’s a reason they’ve asked you to do it, and if you only accept the work you’re comfortable with, growth will remain unattainable.

Be authentic. Don’t be who you think your mentor wants you to be or who you think you need to be. Be who you are and approach the relationship with complete honesty. If you’re not your true self, how can you expect your mentor to give advice that can really have an impact? It’s only when you show your mentor who you truly are that they can help you become the person you want to be.

Have clarity. It’s not the responsibility of your mentor to define what you want to gain from their mentorship. Before you enter into the relationship as a mentee, it’s imperative that you get clear on exactly how you want to develop personally and professionally. Showing up under the delusion that you’re a blank slate is totally unproductive. Audit yourself. Creating a detailed inventory of your strengths and weaknesses, situations that have caused you problems in the past, areas in which you excel. Starting off the relationship with this kind of information to build upon will make your mentor’s advice more poignant and effective. It sets you both up for success.

Give first. What have you done to prove to your mentor that you’re worth their time and attention? Simply asking someone to be your mentor isn’t enough, and it’s never how the best mentorships start. Do work that your mentor values and needs, and do it well. Giving your best effort and working hard to earn their respect is the best way to endear yourself to a potential mentor and lay the groundwork for a rewarding relationship. Ultimately, they are staking their reputation on mentoring you, because at some point in the relationship, they will be asked to sponsor you. Before you reach anything close to that point, your mentor needs to be well assured that you will represent them well.

Check your ego. Bringing your ego into mentorship is a guaranteed failure. Growth is wrought with challenges and failures. If your ego is engaged, you’re sure to be defeated by the bumps and valleys on your journey. If, however, you’re able to check your ego and approach mentorship with humility, from a context of learning, everything becomes an opportunity for development, rather than scarcity viewed through scarcity lenses like failure or setback. A primary function of your mentor will be to offer criticism and feedback, especially during the most critical and challenging times. To receive their feedback properly and apply it to your life and work in the most positive ways, your ego needs to be fully disengaged.

Mentorship has resulted in some of the most meaningful and impactful relationships in my life. I speak from experience when I say it’s a truly rewarding endeavor, but only with the right approach. Now that we’ve discussed the best of both roles—mentor and mentee—I’d love to dive into a concept I read about recently, the Reverse Mentor. In the meantime, check out some of the mentors who shaped my life and career: https://www.coreykupfer.com/resources/

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Categories
Authentic Business Relationships Authentic Conversations About Difference Authentic Leadership

Mentorship: Being a Great Mentor

During-Brainstorming-20
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

A mentor is more than just a font of wisdom.

My first and greatest mentor was my father. His wisdom is something I carry with me always. “Make yourself as indispensable as possible to your boss, but remember nobody is indispensable,” is career advice he gave me that I will never forget. “Every morning when I think about life with your mother or without your mother, I choose your mother,” he told me of marriage. And on his deathbed, he said to me, “I traveled to 25 countries, have a great family and have done the things I wanted to do. I have no regrets. When you are in my situation, you don’t want to have any regrets,” which was when I realized that he’d won the game of life, and when I learned for certain how I wanted to live.

I’m grateful for the time I got to spend with my father and the relationship he and I shared. I know not all sons are so fortunate. The mentorship I received from my father taught me not just about life, but also about the value of having a mentor.

Being on both sides of mentorship has shaped my career, so I know that these kinds of relationships are very different than one might have with a father, friend, or colleague. There’s a different kind of work involved. Over the years, I’ve learned a few things about what makes a good mentor, both from mentors of my own and being one myself in a professional setting. If you’re interested in mentorship, here’s what I think makes a good mentor:

Setting boundaries is key. In a professional context, maintaining roles and status in the mentor-mentee relationship matters. It might seem superficial, but for both of you to get the most out of the relationship it’s important that you set boundaries. Your mentee needs to know that time is valuable, so they shouldn’t waste it with trivial concerns or problems they should be able to solve on their own. Furthermore, there should be clarity about what the two of you discuss. Setting these sorts of boundaries is necessary to remove noise from the relationship and ensure that things are always pointed in the right direction.

Don’t be afraid to challenge your mentee.

The relationship is ultimately about growth. If you’re tracking their progress and feel like they are ready, challenge your mentee. Not arbitrarily. Give them meaningful work that stretches what they think their abilities are. We learn the most when someone sees greatness in ourselves that we don’t yet see.. As a mentor, you can both push your mentee outside their comfort zone but also be there when the assignment is over to teach and offer feedback.

Seek understanding. For mentorship to really work, it has to be a two-way street. Many people approach mentorship with the idea that they are just a conduit for wisdom and lived experience. They pontificate, thinking that imparting their knowledge is the whole of the mentor’s duty. What their all-fortunate mentee does with the information is irrelevant. That’s never going to be true. A mentor needs to be sincerely interested in the career and development of their mentee. Seeking understanding is a strong way to display this commitment. When your mentee approaches you with a problem, don’t just launch into canned solutions you think they need to hear. Instead, seek understanding of what it is they’re going through and why they are experiencing this problem. There is almost always an underlying circumstance that can more deeply inform the advice you offer.

Be an advocate for them. Let’s be clear about the endgame of a professional mentorship: to help your mentee develop and advance in their career. That’s why getting it right in your role as mentor is so important. Eventually, there will come a time when you are asked to advocate for them. If your tutelage was well received, there should be no hesitation—you should be thrilled to be a zealous advocate for your mentee, whether they are seeking a promotion, pursuing a new role at a different firm or company or pitching that big client or investor as an entrepreneur. Your endorsement will matter more than nearly anyone else’s. Be willing to use your reputation and influence on their behalf if they deserve it.

Mentorship has resulted in some of the most meaningful and impactful relationships in my life. I speak from experience when I say it’s a truly rewarding endeavor, but only with the right approach. This week we covered how to be the best mentor. Next week’s blog will discuss how mentees can best approach mentorship. In the meantime, check out some of the mentors who shaped my life and career: https://www.coreykupfer.com/resources/

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Categories
Authentic Business Relationships Authentic Leadership

The Right (and Wrong) Way to Solicit on LinkedIn

During-Brainstorming-21
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

I recently posted a simple question – and brief explanation – about how people handle LinkedIn connections who immediately solicit you. I must have touched a nerve, because it went a bit viral. You can check out the post here.

As you can see, it seems like I’ve happened upon something we all feel, something universal – we hate being sold to blindly. None of us like getting an immediate solicitation from a new LinkedIn connection. What’s more, the consensus in my comments was that such behavior was grounds for an immediate disconnection.

If that seems drastic, let’s take a look at an example of a bad solicitation I received recently:

This user’s name and other identifying information has been changed. Text, including the user’s typos, has remained unchanged.

Happy New Year Corey! I’m expand my network by connecting with other colleagues from LinkedIn Connection University. – Dr. Bad Solicitation

Mon Corey Kupfer sent the following message at 8:46 PM

Dr. Bad Solicitation, thank you for your connection request. I do not believe we know each other (please correct me if I am wrong). For me to consider connecting with someone I don’t know, I need to understand why you want to be connected with me and what triggered the request. Thanks, Corey

Dr. Bad Solicitation sent the following message at 8:49 PM

Corey Thank you for your email. Your bio precedes you. If you have or know of anyone 9 business or personal contacts ) who are in need of commercial or residential properties located in Florinecticut as per a Good Investment, feel free and confident to have them reach out to me. Thank you

Urgh! Dr. Bad Solicitation lives up to his fake name, right? There’s so much wrong with this approach. This connection didn’t even answer my reasonable request about why he chose to connect with me. Instead, he issued an inauthentic compliment about my bio and leapt immediately into his sales pitch. For Dr. Bad Solicitation, this is purely transactional. I don’t approach my business relationships that way. Disconnect.

So, what should Dr. Bad Solicitation have done differently? Let’s examine another connection I received recently. It also came with a solicitation, but the approach here is so much better. Here’s how Ben Value-Add approached me:

This user’s name and other identifying information has been changed.

Hi Corey,

I see we have some mutual connections.

I am always looking to grow my network of professionals here on LinkedIn. If you are open to that please accept.

Warmly,

Ben.

9:29 AM

Ben Value-Add is now a connection

Mon Ben Value-Add sent the following message at 6:59 AM

It’s an honor to Connect!

I hope everything is well with you in your personal and professional life!

Here’s a document I pass out to all my new connections. It’s a summary of the growth strategies we use for our clients and ourselves. No strings attached. No opt-in. No cost 🙂

[There was a hyperlink to a .pdf here]

Here’s what we do at MyCompany:

He included a short, clear and strong mission statement here.

If you or someone you know has a bodacious dream and needs someone to capture that on film and let the world know about it – I’d love to talk!!

With thanks,

Ben Value-Add

555-555-5555

Did you catch what Ben did there? Yes, this is still a pretty immediate solicitation, but Ben’s approach gets several things right. First, he’s not forcing the issue. He opens the request explaining that we have mutual connections, and then clearly explains his primary motivation for connecting – always growing his network. He closes the message by actually asking me to connect. It’s polite, professional, and respectful of boundaries.

Ben was off to a great start, but a bad solicitation—something baldly transactional—can squash that good will in an instant. Ben didn’t go there. Instead, Ben chose to give first. He asked nothing of me. He gave me a document that was, I must say, legitimately useful and filled with content that interested me. And, he made it clear that at no point would there be expectations of me doing business with him.

Now, I’m not considering using a service like Ben’s at this particular moment. However, I’m sure the time will come, and I won’t forget this interaction and Ben’s choice to give first. He clearly understands the value of building authentic business relationships. That kind of alignment shows me that he and I would, likely, work well together.

A transactional and exploitative approach, on the other hand, is a sure failure. It cheapens business relationships down to the simplest compliment. Look back at Dr. Bad Solicitation’s compliment. “Your bio precedes you,” seems so hollow and exploitative in the context created by his shallow solicitation. This is not how authentic business relationships are formed, and it’s a habit more of us need to break.

For an expanded take on how to build authentic business relationships, check out my blog or my video on the topic.

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on Linkedin

Categories
Authentic Leadership

Why You Should Create a Vision for the New Year

During-Brainstorming-21
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

Get rid of the resolutions and think bigger.

You know the routine: make resolutions, break resolutions. Then we beat ourselves up over our inability to change, and by the time we’re done wallowing it’s June and none of our goals for the new year are on track. We settle on the thought that next year will be our year though… Now that we are a month into 2018 are you already on that path to New Years’ resolution failure?

We have all heard that insanity is “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” While I hate clichés, and this definition of insanity – which has been attributed to Einstein most often – has certainly become a cliché, to me, this is what making New Year’s resolutions has been reduced to.

I used to get caught up in that same performative cycle. Pledging to get better and improve year-over-year is well intentioned, but resolutions have become more societal expectation than personal promise that we are going to keep. This annual universal approach to self-improvement is just one more flawed system in a world of flawed systems, but it’s one with what I think has an easy fix.

Instead of rehashing a list of things you want to accomplish, create a vision for your life in what remains of this new year. Think about it, what’s is likely to be more successful? I am going to lose 30 pounds and journal every day (likely, coming from a context of I need to do that because I feel fat and have failed to do it for the last X number of year), or make healthier decisions and allow time for reflective thought (coming from an empowering context for your life like being healthy for your kids as they grow or having the energy and stamina to have the big impact you know you are meant to have in the world)?

If you still need some convincing, let’s talk about some more reasons why you should make visioning a priority in 2018.

Resolutions are inauthentic. Do we really put that much thought into our resolutions? If your answer is anything other than no, I’d love to hear more from you in the comments. Truthfully, the majority of us choose from something of a socially agreeable stock list of improvement items and choose the three or four we deem most desirable or attainable or that we feel we need to change because we are so unhappy with ourselves in that area. We feel no positive connection to them and, in fact, the ones most often listed are the ones we feel most bad about. Visioning, conversely, demands authenticity. It requires us to think deeply about how we want our lives to look. A vision requires clarity. A well-crafted vision asks us to access our truth and formulate priorities around what we value. It also has us be able to see ourselves already successful as opposed to coming from a place of reaction and need to get somewhere. This is a much more powerful context than resolutions provide.

Guiding principles are more powerful than obligations. I was listening to a podcast recently, and the guest said something that got me thinking: “If it’s on the calendar, I don’t want to do it.” I don’t agree with it entirely, but it’s revealing of how we approach perceived—and actual—obligations. Without being part of a larger empowering vision, they bog us down, always looming, always pulling us in directions that we might not otherwise choose to go. On the other hand, a vision, rooted in clarity, that’s aligned with our highest aims is something that we can aspire to. It provides direction and keeps us more oriented towards improvement than checking items off a list that we might never complete. The action steps we then commit to take to fulfill that vision do not come with the energy of obligation but, instead, excitement and choice.

A vision is less likely to fail. We want to succeed. I don’t doubt that we all set out to fulfill all of our typical resolutions, but what start out as goals too easily become these tortured pressure points that set us up for failure. A vision is less specific, but sets a more powerful context for how we live our lives. It’s not a question of success or failure, but how well we are realizing our vision. Failure leads to discouragement, which leads to us abandoning our resolutions entirely. A vision is about establishing a standard to which we can hold ourselves. If we reflect and determine we’re not where we want to be, that’s okay. We know exactly where we want to go because we’ve articulated a clear vision and in identifying that gap, the necessary action steps become clear. A vision moves the framework from a polarizing question of success or failure to an empowering notion of constant improvement. It pulls you into a future you have created for yourself as opposed to you being pushed by your past failure, self-judgment and societal expectations.

My vision for 2018 is clear and I reconnect to it regularly. How are you doing so far in 2018? What is your vision for the rest of this year? If you have not already done, I strongly encourage you to set aside some time for a visioning session and getting clear on what you really want and how you want your life to look. The impact on all aspects of your life can be more profound than any resolution.

Ultimately, a positive vision for your life is rooted in being able to clearly articulate your objectives from a constructive context rather than reacting to negativity and trying to course correct. Sometimes, to realize that vision, all we need is a fresh perspective. If you’re ready to ditch the resolutions and create an uplifting vision of your life and future, check out my recent video on the topic: Instead of Making Resolutions, Be a Visionary

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Categories
Authentic Conversations About Difference

How Law Firms Can Embrace Diversity: Part Three

During-Brainstorming-22
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.”

-Voltaire

In the last two posts, we discussed the problems that allow the lack of diversity in law firms to persist and why we should care. It’s clear that they are largely entrenched systemic issues. To many, that might be enough to shrug and concede, thinking that the problems are too big and too immovable.

You know what I love about problems, though? No matter how complex and challenging, there is always a solution if you make the effort to find it. That’s what I want to do in this post. Find and discuss the solutions that I think more law firms need to not just think about, but enact.

First, it’s important we acknowledge that no single firm can bring about change at an industry scale. If that’s how we approach diversity initiatives, failure is inevitable. At that point, the problem is too big. But, if we focus on our own firms, and make changes to the way we do things under our own roof, that can be powerful. The more firms that make similar changes, the more the industry will change. So, start small.

Second thing before I get to specific solutions is, you don’t have to make every single change all at once and immediately. Yes, I think the need for changes in this area, in my industry, are urgent, but if we don’t do it right all of our efforts will be counter-productive. Focus on the solutions that you think can really work for your firm, plan the roll out of different initiatives well, and commit to seeing them through. Rushing this process helps no one as does approaching this as a sprint, quick fix or solely for compliance or PR reasons. This requires a long-term sustained commitment.

Now, what can your firm do to embrace diversity?

Understand that it all starts with culture. This is probably the biggest challenge, right? There’s a way you do things, those processes work, and you’ve enjoyed success doing things a certain way. In some ways (at least in the short-term, opening up to diversity can seem like a solution in need of a problem. I understand that mindset. I own my own firm, so I know exactly what’s at stake. Even so, there’s always room for growth and change in the short-run and over even the medium term you will lose ground if you don’t keep up with what the market increasingly demands. While adding diversity and inclusion to your firm’s core values is great, it is not close to enough. Doing so only sends a powerful message to current associates and partners, as well as candidates and clients if your firm lives those values and they permeate all that you do. It also lays the foundation for a culture that is open, respectful, and inclusive.

Prioritize diversity when hiring. The kneejerk reaction to this suggestion for many is to recoil at the notion of preferential treatment. Yet, that’s already what’s going on across the industry, except minorities are rarely on the receiving end of that preference. Many just don’t realize this because of in-group, often unconscious bias. There are studies showing that the same exact resume with a black sounding name gets significantly fewer interview opportunities than one with a white-sounding name. You may not even realize that you are discriminating – that is the nature of unconscious bias. Consciously making diversity a priority when hiring is a first step towards equity, and challenges the rigid objectivity so many claim to lionize above all else when reviewing candidates, which rigidity does not account for unconscious bias.

Prioritize inclusion when onboarding (and always). What’s more, you can’t treat new hires like quotas. They need to be onboarded with the idea that they will be valued, long-term members of your team. Creating support programs, providing regular feedback, and trusting new hires with meaningful work are all things we can do to develop a sustained culture of diversity and inclusion that benefits all. And more importantly, a culture of diversity that doesn’t stop at HR.

Make time for authentic conversations about differences. This is a place many companies are unwilling to go, but it is crucial – true diversity and inclusion will not be achieved without it. Diversity and inclusion cannot be a performative salve for the close-minded. That only perpetuates feelings of division and otherness. Rather, view this as an exercise about sharing the lived experiences and perspectives of all team members. If you make authentic conversations about differences a part of your best practices, not only will diversity feel natural, but a lack of diversity would be noticeable and uncomfortable. If you need a framework to support authentic conversations about difference, at Authentic Enterprises we have some great materials available for free download that can help you personally to start having the right conversations immediately: http://www.authenticconversationsaboutrace.com/. As a leader, use those materials to deepen your understanding and experience and so that you can model what you want your team to do. Those free materials are for individual use only, though. If you would like to train your team using Authentic Conversation About Difference, contact us. We can help.

If you’re able to implement some of these changes to your firm, I’m confident that you’ll notice the positive impact. The hardest part is always getting started, but we now understand the fundamental problem, the mechanisms that entrench the problem, and most importantly, we’ve identified solutions. If you have read this three-part blog series, it seems to me like you’ve already started. Now it’s time to take bold action!

—

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on Linkedin

Categories
Authentic Conversations About Difference

How Law Firms Can Embrace Diversity: Part Two

During-Brainstorming-23
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

How Law Firms Can Embrace Diversity: Part Two

And Why They Need To

In our ongoing discussion about diversity in law, we’ve covered the present reality and the systemic forces that keep diversity numbers low at law firms. In this piece, I will discuss the benefits to your company of committing to diversity. In our last installment, next week, we will identify some valuable approaches and solutions to get you started on making critical changes at your firm.

It’s valuable to start this discussion by asking: why should your firm make diversity a priority? To me, it’s an ethical imperative (and an increasingly crucial road to more business success). It’s something that gets beyond the industry. It’s our duty to society. If we’re not striving to make the world a better place, what are we really doing?

I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, and if you’ve been reading along, my guess is you care deeply about this topic, like myself. Furthermore, I believe most of us understand the problem beyond the surface level and have a natural inclination toward the greater good. In a vacuum, I don’t doubt that we’d all make the right decision and our industry would be perfectly equitable.

I’m also an entrepreneur and understand that any major changes need to make business sense. That’s not cynical either. It’s reality, and a balance we have to strike daily. What good does a diversity program do if the business doesn’t sustain?

That’s a bit of a straw man, but we’re always guarding against an uncertain future, so let me make the business case about why your firm needs to embrace diversity.

Inclusivity is good for all. It creates a culture of openness that allows all people to be their true selves at work. What a huge step into making authenticity a central part of your business and one that has truly transformative potential. When your people are comfortable to be themselves, it will show in their work, it will show in better outcomes, it will show in success. What’s more, inclusivity sends a powerful message to clients about your company and your values, making your organization more attractive to a wider network of businesses.

Cultivating different backgrounds, perspectives, and experiences adds value. When you have a team full of unique viewpoints and opinions, it can improve problem solving and conflict resolution, hone your messaging internally and market-facing, spur creativity, and drive innovation. In today’s world, if you are pushing forward with a homogeny of perspectives and opinions, your firm is likely doomed. Our economy is global now, and increasingly, so is our culture. Your team needs to be reflective of this reality, not just for the sake of diversity, but to ensure success well into the future.

It allows you to recruit better talent. Diversity is rightfully becoming a sincere societal value, especially with millennials. If your company puts diversity at the core of its culture and recruiting policy, you’re sure to have an easier time recruiting top, young talent. The present reality is that company culture and values matter more to today’s workforce than in any previous generation. If you want your company at the forefront, embrace diversity. Internally, strong diversity practice can open the eyes of your recruiting team. Oftentimes, we get so bogged down in our ways that we don’t know what we don’t know. We think we’re casting a wide net when we’re fishing in a tide pool. Diversity breaks down the systemic barriers that we didn’t realize were holding our firm back, and limiting eminently qualified candidates.

There’s a lot of great literature out there on strategies for improving your diversity policies and making it a priority. For your efforts to succeed, it not only needs to be sincere, but you’ll need an implementation plan that works for your business. If handled right, it could be a great benefit to your organization, and society. This is a topic that inspires me daily, and I’m looking forward to continuing our discussion in next week’s final installment. For further research on fostering diversity, check out the free downloadable materials available from Authentic Enterprises: http://www.authenticconversationsaboutrace.com/

—

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Categories
Authentic Conversations About Difference

Part One: How Law Firms Can Embrace Diversity

During-Brainstorming-24
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

And Why They Need To

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”
— Albert Einstein

We’ve identified that there is a diversity problem in law firms. It’s been a conversation for a long time, and many firms—with the best intentions—have tried to make diversity a serious aspect of their culture and business plan. However, the numbers are still lagging seriously behind other industries.

I have some ideas for how we can improve as an industry, but before we go into solutions, I think it’s important to discuss some of the things that are keeping law firms across the country from fully embracing diversity.

Unconscious Bias

When we’re surrounded by our in-group, we inevitably perceive those like us more favorably. For the most part it’s an evolutionary remnant—a survival instinct for when venturing outside our tribe could mean death. The stakes aren’t quite so high nowadays. Instead, women and minorities get unintentionally left on the periphery of informal networks that build out a firm. Furthermore, in a profession that aims to be meritocratic, white male partners might favor the work of white male associates without intending to, even if you control for quality. After a while, those instances add up, and when it’s time to give promotions, guess who’s getting picked?

Fear of Change

A big reason law firms are lagging behind is a cultural issue. Corporations are more responsive to diversity initiatives not just because they can offer positions that capture a wider range of talents, but also because the cultures of larger corporations are often more malleable. At large law firms, conformity is key to efficiency. Consequently, leaders fear that diversity can lead to instability. The hours and work are supremely demanding. There is the assumption that people all the way up the ladder have all done their time, put in the hours, and will continue doing so as needed. Their fear of change stems from an unwillingness to compromise on any aspect of the status quo. Unfortunately, this fear is inauthentic, based on the snowball fallacy that if exceptions are ever made for any one person or group, where does it end? It overlooks the exceptions given every day.

Nepotism

Sometimes, it really is about who you know. On average, white lawyers have an easier time switching law firms and are more likely to transfer with a friend or colleague. African American lawyers on the other hand have a more difficult time changing firms and are more likely to do so on their own. This trend perpetuates the naturally occurring selection systems and ad hoc filters that help people advance their careers. As these networks grow, the results become exponential. Partners are more likely to hire friends or people that trusted colleagues have vouched for. When women and minorities are underrepresented, so are their opinions and those for whom they would advocate. This is part of how lack of diversity becomes self-perpetuating.

Idealism

It seems counter-intuitive. Diversity is the idealistic notion we’re discussing, but that’s not how many lawyers think. Their idealism about the law actually obscures their perception of diversity. Lady Justice is blindfolded for a reason. Race or gender simply aren’t relevant factors for the practice. It sounds great. We’ve moved past white law and black law and women’s laws and men’s laws. The simple fact that those distinctions in the law ever existed at all dictates the necessity for diverse voices and experiences in firms of all sizes. In a perfect society, the law would be an objective concept, but the truth is that—even today—the law affects certain people and groups differently than others.

In the next entry, we’re going to unpack how law firms can overcome these entrenched behaviors and discuss some of the solutions I think would be most impactful for the future of diversity in the industry.

Diversity and authenticity are inextricable to me. If you’re living an authentic life and have accessed your inner truth, embracing diversity isn’t a choice so much as a by-product of realizing that we’re all part of one human family. The differences we perceive are conceptions of fear and rooted in attitudes of scarcity. Overcoming our biases is not only crucial to living a full life, but also to Authentic Negotiating success. Are you ready to transform your life and business? Download free materials, from the Authentic Conversations About Race project, that will get you started on fostering constructive dialogue around diversity.

—

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Categories
Authentic Conversations About Difference

Introduction: How Law Firms Can Embrace Diversity

During-Brainstorming-25
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

And Why They Need To

“If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.”
— John F. Kennedy

Law is a hyper-specialized profession. In an age where information brokerage is no longer the exclusive purview of the experts, law still retains its authority as a calling.

That also means law firms—in most cases—feel justified in hiring and building out their teams based on rigid meritocracy. Considering what’s at stake in many cases, few could blame them for sticking to such a system.

Unfortunately, they also use it to rationalize a lack of diversity, only paying lip service to it in mission statements and web copy. The reality is that diverse perspectives and experiences would make their firm stronger.

Statistics from the National Association for Law Placement (NALP) indicate a need for robust and aggressive diversity initiatives across the industry. Despite graduation rates among men and women being a near 50/50 split, the representation of female associates as of 2015 was 44.68 percent, the lowest level since 2006. The higher up the ladder we move, the more skewed the numbers get. Only 21.6 percent of women are partners at major law firms, and just 17.4 percent are equity partners.

Though improved of late, the statistics among minorities are even more discouraging. Per the NALP, even though minorities represented 27 percent of the graduating class in 2014, only 13.97 percent went onto become lawyers at large firms. What’s more, minorities were less likely to be hired full-time than non-minorities, and African Americans were less likely to enter into private practice than any other minority group. Only 22 percent of minorities become associates at large firms, while just 7.52 percent advance to become partners. Most tellingly, only 2.5 percent of partners at larger firms were minority women (infographic: minority statistics; infographic: women statistics).

Striking, right? Surely, there are extenuating circumstances that can explain some of the disparity, but not close to all if it. Additionally, I’m not putting other law firms on trial here for conscious discrimination. I don’t believe that there’s been any malicious intent for the far majority. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be self-critical and strive to improve as unconscious bias, institutional racism and lack of commitment to effective action run rampant. I’m constantly seeking feedback and making efforts to improve myself; it shouldn’t be a radical notion to expect the same of my industry.

My personal commitment to diversity reached an even deeper level after spending time in villages in Ghana, Uganda, and India in the late 90s and early 2000s. The perspectives of the people from these places astounded me. They taught me so much. These were people with so little but who had so much joy, and sense of connection. From then on, I redefined myself as a world citizen connected to all of humanity. It’s why I connect to the quote above. Our differences will never end, but we can always seek understanding. Creating safe spaces for diversity should be a priority for every profession, especially the legal industry.

Many firms will make much of their diversity policy, but ultimately it requires urgent action. As an industry there needs to be an ethic of “practice what you preach.” At Kupfer & Associates, we’ve made diversity a priority and it’s proven invaluable to our firm and business. I’ve learned so much from my team over the years, and our diversity has helped us approach deals with fresh perspectives and fearless creativity.

Diversity and authenticity are inextricable to me. If you’re living an authentic life and have accessed your inner truth, embracing diversity isn’t a choice so much as a by-product of realizing that we’re all part of one human family. The differences we perceive are conceptions of fear and rooted in attitudes of scarcity. Overcoming our biases is not only crucial to living a full life, but also to Authentic Negotiating success. Are you ready to transform your life and business? Download free materials, from the Authentic Conversations About Race project, that will get you started on fostering constructive dialogue around diversity.

—

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!

Categories
Authentic Negotiating

Authentic Negotiating: Winning vs. Success – Part 2

During-Brainstorming-26
Business team during a brainstorming in a meeting

Instead of Refusing to Negotiate, Refuse to Engage your Ego.

“Check your ego at the door. The ego can be the great success inhibitor. It can kill opportunities, and it can kill success.” — Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

“Why would we table that issue? Jeff asked. “That’s a deal breaker.”
I had just gotten the Russian group to set aside our mutual concerns about the non-circumvention clause for a later session and my client, Jeff, was still uneasy. The problem was, he was still bent on winning, on beating the Russians. Even after he’d gotten clear on his objectives, he still struggled to separate winning from success.

I had more work to do. Here’s how Jeff and I worked through his hang-ups with winning:

Remember Winning is About Ego.

I had to remind Jeff that the behavior of the Russians was triggering his ego. They had succeeded in moving Jeff away from his objectives and turning his focus into nothing more than winning the argument against them. We didn’t want to win an argument, we wanted to achieve Jeff’s objectives. Before we could move on, Jeff had to check his ego and be OK with not “winning” this argument.

Consider Your Options.

Jeff had to be shown that getting the non-circumvention protection he wanted didn’t start and end at the negotiating table. In fact, we might have been misguided in assuming this deal would follow any sort of convention from the beginning. I told Jeff as much. We were getting our cash from the Russian group upfront. There was little we could do about due diligence, and we’d likely find minimal information if we could. I pitched something unusual to Jeff—let’s get your suppliers to agree to a non-circumvention clause with you. Jeff loved it, and since his suppliers had a good relationship with him, they agreed.

After a few days, we returned to the negotiating table with our objectives front and center and with more leverage than we had when we were worrying over winning the non-circumvention agreement. We were able to be flexible. With the suppliers on our side, we told the Russians that we’d concede the non-circumvention clause in exchange for three other key terms that were on Jeff’s list of objectives.

If we’d dug in on the protection clause, there’s no telling how long the fights would have been over Jeff’s other objectives. But because the Russian group was so pleased to have gotten a “win” on non-circumvention, they were eager to agree to our terms on the other items. In this way, we used their ego against them because we were able to not let ours stay engaged. What else could the Russian group have walked away with if they weren’t so insistent on this clause? They’ll never know, but at least they got that win.

Jeff and I were able to achieve his objectives by putting a win on the back-burner. I could be telling the story where Jeff and I refuse to move on the protection he wanted and stood up to the Russians, and how the stubborn Russians blew what could have been a good deal for them. But instead, we stayed connected to our objectives and realized how unimportant winning that argument was. In exchange, we got an almost clean-sweep of Jeff’s objectives in the deal including hundreds of thousands of dollars in profit for him on that one deal.

That’s the critical difference between winning and success.

To understand Authentic Negotiating, you have to understand the difference between winning and success. If you’re fixated on getting a win, you’ll never truly succeed. That’s easier to say than it is to do. A successful Authentic Negotiator knows when to put their ego aside and put their objectives front and center. How do you rate? Take my Authentic Negotiating Success Quiz to find out.

—

Corey Kupfer is an expert strategist, negotiator and dealmaker. He has more than 35 years of professional deal-making and negotiating experience. Corey is a successful entrepreneur, attorney, consultant, author and professional speaker who is passionate about deal-driven growth. He is also the creator and host of the DealQuest Podcast.

If you want to find out how deal-ready you are, take the Deal- Ready Assessment today!